Thank you all for responding, i think i wrote that post while i was fairly upset, so i may have been slightly confusing after rereading it. I think what i need to do is just not cause any more trauma when i'm home by revealing this to them, and for the time being just take the punches. Finish out school, move away and find work and then once i know ive become financially independent and feel they cant really ridicule me then maybe i'll feel strong enough to say that they need to treat me with respect if they still want to interact with me. Because it feels at this point like if i said that they would probably laugh at my face and tell me how ungrateful i am because i still rely on them.
But to answer why i dont really feel inclined to call my mom that often is because when i do call she never seems happy to hear me, she just rattles off these questions about school work and whether im doing it and what my grades are. She proceeds to make some kind of extended rant about how i'm no good at x,y,z and then i sit there and just ask myself how she can make the few phone calls so unpleasant. If i were her i would be happy to hear about that my son is loving his classes etc. and not take it as an opportunity to ridicule him.