Nails the Attention Whore Part II
That weekend Nails had a gig further from home then he usually plays. I decided I was going to ride out with my brother and father so he could go straight there from work and I could get ready instead of throwing myself half way together. Midway to the bar I got a message from Nails that simply stated. "I love you. Hurry please. I'm sorry but you aren't going to be happy." It was an odd text but I simply wrote it off in my mind that the bar was a dive and not many people were there.
I walked in with my family and moved towards the stage the same as always. I had friends already there and greeted. One of my friends (the rare few females I was talking about) hugged me for like a good 5 minutes. It caught me off guard cause she's not overly touchy feely. She moved back and out of the corner of my eye I see this woman just smirking at me, it was the nastiest little smirk I've ever seen. I glance and it's her, Poison standing directly in front of my husband. Now here is my disclaimer. I am not a violent person, not any more. When I was younger I dealt with bouts of rage from keeping anger pent up too long. This was the first time in nearly 20 years that I wanted to hurt someone so I did the grown up thing and I walked out the door. I instantly called SocialD.
Let me step away from this a moment and explain SocialD cause she will show up off and on through this blog. When I first moved in with my husband he lived with his mother, his sister, and his 12 year old niece, Nirvana. About a month after living there Nirvana's 13 year old best friend, SocialD, moved in and I instantly adopted her as my daughter. It didn't matter we were only 10 years apart, SocialD is my daughter and her children, Boo & Porkchop are my grandkids.
Ok as I was saying, I called SocialD fuming. She talks me down, something she has always been able to do. I get a text from Nails asking me to please come back inside. I take a deep breath and walk in. There was a couple standing near the bar, the woman was heavier set like myself with amazing curves and dressed tastefully sexy. Something clicked and I decided I wanted to be like that. I was tired of feeling grossly fat, not taking the time to really focus on my hair and makeup, just tired of my rut and that woman was my inspiration. I didn't know it then but that woman would eventually be our Giggles. The rest of the night went by fine. Poison stayed in the back of the bar away from us. I was still pissed but I kept it to myself.
Needless to say I didn't sleep much that night, I was completely fuming. I climbed out of bed the next morning went in the bathroom and gave myself a pep talk. It was time for me to say what I had to stay. Stop holding back, knock down all of my filters and let it fly and that's just what I did. Nails just sat on the bed looking dumbfounded. I did a lot of yelling, made a lot of demands, all things I had never done with him and he gave a lot of apologize, something he had never really done. I let everything go not just her but other ways he had damaged me and other changes that needed to be made if we were going to stay together.
We worked through it like we always do. I started buying some sexier clothes, restocked my makeup, and joined the gym, started working on my Bachelors degree. I had to fix me too not just us. I started speaking my mind about everything, which he still isn't full accustom to I don't think. I think these were all things that had to happen to not just for our survival but my own. I think it was all these things that also set me up for the night Giggles kissed me.