I have been so lost for a long time now. I need help to try and understand and see if I can make this work.
Last summer my husband and I decided to explore poly. We talked about it, and while we have been swinging for a while, I know swinging is nothing compared to being poly but we thought it could be the next step for us. I originally thought this would be something we would do together and explore together.
Now, my husband is much more outgoing than I am. He meets people easily and has an ease about him when it comes to dealing with groups of people. We originally thought adding a female and becoming a triad would be where we would start and I was ok with that being a bisexual female. We began meeting people and things were going well at first.
Then he met this girl. At first when he met her he didn't even mention he was attached. They talked for a couple of weeks and then he randomly sprung me on her, which was completely awkward for both of us. She is much younger than both of us. For the first little bit it was ok, not great, but ok. Then we had this night where we were all going out and she had this little freak out in front of me and it just completely turned me off. After that, things got bad.
I expressed to my husband my doubts, but he kept saying it will be ok and pushed the relationship on. Since then its been a constant source of fighting between us. I tell him I hate this on a regular basis but he says he won't give her up because they have feelings for each other. He keeps telling me he loves me and will never leave me, and while I want to believe him sometimes he just seems so unhappy with me and would rather be with her.
I have threatened multiple times to end it for him and he says if I do he will be miserable and I am honestly worried he will leave me. I don't know what to do anymore. The stress of all this is really getting to me. Originally we made a deal that he sees her 3 nights a week and I get 4 nights a week. But every minute he spends with her I resent it. Plus, anytime he has anything else on the go it always takes away from one of my nights, never hers because he claims he sees me more with the daytime hours we spend together.
I don't know what to do anymore. Please someone help me.