Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
For instance, in your situation, you're acknowledging that you can't know how things will be without input from a future partner. Very true! But, ultimately, you're still seeking someone who can be with both you and Pidge -- you speak of one person, not of one or more, and you speak of both you and she being involved with that person, so I think it's fair to say that's what you're after? -- and with that comes all the much-written-of pitfalls of unicorn hunting.
To name the most obvious one, let's say you two meet a lovely man who you both like! Step one of the five year plan complete! And he likes both of you! But then, over the course of months of dating, it turns out he clicks with Pidge very strongly... in fact, it's love... but he no longer wants to put his strong arms around you. Will that be ok for you? Or, in the same situation but reversed, will it be ok for Pidge? Or will the disappointment of "failing" to reach your desired destination be a stumbling block to moving forward?
Thanks for your response, AnnabelMore,
First let me say I'm knee-deep in your blog right now, and loving it. You are such a gifted writer!!
You bring up some great points, so allow me to clarify. The Pidge and I have talked about just those subjects. So far what we've agreed on is this:
* TSG meets us, and likes neither of us. Easy to know what to do there.
* TSG meets us and wants intimate relationships with both of us. Also easy.
* TSG meets us, wants intimate relationship with one of us, but only platonic friendship with the other. The one of us not in a physical relationship with TSG is encouraged to continue to meet people who will want that intimate relationship with her, and the only expectation is that general courtesy and goodwill exist for everyone.
In the last case scenario, as we discussed it, we might easily end up dating separate men, our goal would be for the 4 of us to possibly be good enough friends we could do casual, non-sexual activities as a group from time to time.
The Pidge and I feel that either outcome is fine. We simply can't know until we actually start meeting men, and have the missing pieces of the puzzle that are their feelings and desires.
I'm old enough to know that it's rare to get exactly what you want in life. Still, it feels good at this point to dream a little dream.
I have no doubt reality will clue me in soon enough as to what I can actually have.