My marriage has not been perfect and anyone who says theirs has, well Iím sorry your lying. People grow, people change, other things come into play that try relationships. Nothing is worth having is easy. I firmly believe in this. I firmly believe ďbeing in loveĒ waxes and wanes. You may always love someone but I donít believe you are always IN LOVE with someone. Those are the times you have to hold on tight and decide within yourself that this person is worth it.
That being said Nails and I have had several struggles over the years. There have been two very large obstacles in our marriage that could easily have been our doom. The first was Poison. She was his assistant manager and we were both led to believe she was a lesbian. I would tease and call her his girlfriend. They went out with out me on occasion. Once in a while turned into nearly every night until I was going nowhere with him and she was going EVERYWHERE. I asked him to stop being with her so much and he said I was being ridiculous. There were other issues in our life and we really didn't like each other at this point, loved yes but like not really at all. I started to suspect there was more between them then I had originally thought. Then I found out how they first met, not at work as I had been first led to believe but at her boyfriend's house at the time. Nails said he didn't remember it but Poison had told him about it.
Then I found a letter she wrote him at his work when I was helping him write his schedule (he is a restaurant manager and I use to manager there as well) It confessed her love to him and said it was unfair that he had his family and she had no one. That was it. I had been lied to, had things been handled differently I don't know how I would have reacted but to be lied to by the one person I trusted above everyone else? It was heartbreaking but I didn't lay down the law, I didn't tell him he had to stay away from her. Instead I handed it over to him. He had to decide what to do and he decided his dishonesty had been unfair. He assured me it had all been an emotional affair never physical and I chose to believe him. We opened up our communication and grew from it. I started to be the person he took everywhere. So as much as it hurt, Poison helped us too.
Our next big issue started roughly 10 years ago. We moved in with my mother in law because she was having financial struggles and her home was big enough to accommodate all 5 of us plus pets. (MIL, Nails, Me, Buzz and Stitch). We had lived with her when we first got together and it was fine so I really didn't see this being an issue that was until we were actually there. The woman had no boundaries. Our level of privacy became none existent. She had no probably walking in the room unannounced or banging on our door if it was locked until we opened it. Our normally wonderful sex life took the hit. Even with Poison in the picture we had sex all of the time, now at his mother it was reduced to quickies any chance we could work them in but no experimenting, no real intimacy, nothing. I started closing myself off from Nails. At first it was to protect him. He already felt enough guilt for what he felt was his fault and I didn't want to add to it. I got wrapped up in online RPGs and that's where I found my false since of intimacy through the characters I made up. It was a huge disconnect for us. He was still open, he still communicated but I would just smile and pretend I was ok.