Well, three days after being told that she has intentions to end our marriage, my wife told me that she has devised a plan:
First, she wants to take the two vacations we had planned together for this spring- one to DisneyWorld in March and the other to Jamaica in May to see my best friend get married. Then, she has plans to "temporarily" leave me for 4 months. Knowing that she needs to be on her own to figure things out, I was pretty ok with that.
It was at that point that my curiosity and her honesty combined to mess me up more than I thought possible. I asked what the rules would be while separated. She told me there are none. Then, I asked why there aren't any rules and she told me that this will be her time to decide who she is and what makes her happy. I asked if she has plans to sleep with other men. (STUPID!) Of course, she said yes very quickly. I told her that a quick response like that indicates she already has someone in mind. She said, no- I have about twelve in mind... Then she encouraged me to sleep with other people during that time, as well. I was so devastated, I could barely breath.
Why do I ask these questions???
Anyway, we worked out the logistics for my son, the money, how and when to contact the other person, etc..
I asked for two things: that she please be safe (condoms, etc) and that she please not sleep with anyone I know. She agreed.
After a few days, I have decided that I will still take the Disney World trip, but unfortunately I am cancelling the Jamaica trip. You can't go to the resort with children or alone- and I don't want my wife to go. When I told her, she was visibly upset, but she understood.
I gave this all a few days so it was a little less raw before I posted anything. I am trying to look at all this with a measure of both optimism and wariness. I feel like a chump because I will be waiting around for her for these 4 months, but, at the same time, I am still head-over-heels crazy for this women. Am I pathetic? I certainly wish I could just move on, but that's not how I feel. I am worried that I won't be able to see her the same when she returns to me (if she returns).
She says she doesn't want to lose me, but "the heart wants what the heart wants". I am so damn confused about how to feel, what to do and how to cope... I wish there was a way to just skip all this hurt and get the end where I know what happens, you know?