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Old 02-12-2013, 05:18 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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Weird limbo spaces is just... weird and uncomfortable. I'm sorry you are feeling that. You could decide to try to get yourself out of limbo land. Have the conversation.

Quote:
All i want is for him to say clearly what he wants with this situation, but he is the more sensitive kind of guy, so he wants to make everyone happy. Which is probably not possible in this situation, so he needs his time. And i can't wait. I've opened my heart again and it hurts to be 'on hold'. To wait for a solution.
I would put it as you want to KNOW. You are hitting your own limit of comfort there. And if you want to know, you have to ASK.

Have you said that want directly to him? In a clearer fashion? Rather than waiting for him to have the talk with you... you could take the bull by the horns and have the talk with him. Maybe something like...

"Hey, remember when you used to say: 'if i fall in love with someone else, she has to find a way to deal with what we have.'

Your currrent GF is not seeming like she is dealing with what we have. I am not feeling comfortable kissing and expressing love for you, and dating you knowing this. So could you please talk to me? I need to know...

Have your wants, needs, and limits changed for our relationship? Do you no longer want to be in relationship with me romantically? Please tell me so I know where we currently stand. Then I can adjust my behavior so it is in the "friend bucket" and not the "girlfriend bucket" if that is where we are at right now.

I love you. But I do not want us to be all "cheaty feeling." This causes me pain and discomfort. I want to be able to date you knowing that it isn't cheating on your Other.

Let us clarify WHAT we share here at this time -- friendship? Or friendship and romance? Then choose to behave in ways that reflect where we DO stand at this time. Not where we wish we stood or where we used to stand. But what things actually ARE now in this relationship"


Could let him deal with his other relationship, but tend to the one YOU have with him and get it clear.

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 02-12-2013 at 05:24 AM.
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