Thank you for sharing your story. I was in your place several years ago. I lost the man I considered my best friend in the world because he had no interest in non-exclusive relationships [and did not bother to tell me until he had met someone monogamous and wanted nothing more to do with me].
I was so broken up by the way things ended that I did not date again for almost 18 months. I felt so guilty for being the way I am--for wanting more than just one relationship.
Now, I have been seeing the most delightful man for the past 14 months. I am continually amazed by how well our non-monogamous relationship / lover-friendship is working and how bizarrely compatible we are--much more so than I was with my ex.
Just this past weekend, my guy offered to drive me IN A HUGE SNOWSTORM to my date with another man. I ended up having to postpone the date because it was a freakin' blizzard, but boy, do I appreciate my amazing guy! (He dates other people too, incidentally).
Two years ago, I never imagined that I would have reached this place, but here I am. I trusted myself and my instincts. I ignored people who told me I was crazy (including one therapist!) and that it wouldn't work (including ALL of my own friends). I focused on making peace with myself and on meeting new people.
And I learned everything I could about ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, dating, communication, and myself.
Single, straight, female, solo, non-monogamous.