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Old 02-12-2013, 01:46 AM
Sonas Sonas is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 4
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I obviously can't say I know exactly how you feel because everyone's situation is different, but I can relate at least a bit. I very recently started a relationship with a guy who's still dating his girlfriend (Rhaenes, actually!) of almost three and a half years. We've all been friends for a while, and granted I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to this, but I can definitely relate to your feeling worried. I worry about the same things, to be honest; you find yourself wondering how it can all end up being equal when two members have a more extensive past, and a tighter emotional bond even if it is only due to time. But the solution I came up with for myself was simple: give it time. I'm in no hurry to make a decision about this. I'm not moving in with these two tomorrow, I'm not signing my life over to something I'm not sure about. I think people have misgivings about any relationship, whether it friendship or dating or a poly relationship like this. I agree with what everyone else has been saying: communicate. Be honest about your fears, the things you're uncomfortable with. Make sure your girlfriend knows if you're feeling hurt or ignored or anything like that. And the only advice I can give is don't rule anything out right away without giving it time. I know I'm already very surprised by how included I feel, rather than the "side girl" effect I thought I was going to have to deal with. In the end this kind of situation may not be for you, but don't be ashamed by what you're feeling and don't think you're wrong or alone in feeling it. That's what forums like this are for, to remind you that there are people going through similar situations! I wish you the best of luck with everything, and hope you find a solution that works for all of you.
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