re - the questions about swinging/polyamory. for me it is fairly simple.
swingers self-identify as swingers and as i understand it do not experience the emotion of love for the people they swing with.
people who have polyamorous relationships/are polyamorous identify as such and do experience the emotion of love for their sexual and/or romantic partners.
i feel sexual and/or romantic love for multiple people at one time, i'm honest and open about this, and i identify as polyamorous/identify my relationships as polyamorous therefore i am and they are.
sadly it seems to me others in my supposed poly community feel ashamed or uncomfortable about potentially being linked to me and my kind in the minds of others. that for them is apparently more important than mutual understanding and community building between polyamorous identifying people. while i try to understand and strive to be forgiving it is nonetheless sad for me that they feel this way.