Originally Posted by Magdlyn
Even our therapist said I was doing all the the right things, showing love, and yet, it didn't work in making him feel loved.
... But having this online bf really boosted my self esteem and showed me what I deserved to have from a partner, and it was a hell of a lot more than my h was able to give.
Magdlyn, I think your situation must have been a lot more painful than mine, and I'm so sorry you went through it (and glad to hear you are in a happier situation now). If your ex wouldn't hold your hand or cuddle, it sounds like he wasn't putting in the necessary effort to make YOU feel loved, so the failure wasn't yours. I think my husband is putting in a lot of effort, but much of it is misdirected because he doesn't understand what I need. We read The Five Love Languages
and it was a huge eye opener both of us, but following through has been harder than we expected.
My self esteem has been getting a HUGE boost from C, and also from many people I dance with regularly (at least two act like they have crushes on me), and even walking in to work today, my employees looked delighted to see me and I felt like I must be running my business well. I don't feel like my life in general is lacking in positive attention, connection and affection. I just wish more of it happened at home.