You are Lovely.
It sounds like you're feeling much worse than the situation actually merits, based on what other people have said, and just from my own personal opinion. Sometimes we're just off, and that's okay; no reason to beat yourself up over it, that's for sure. You're so conscientious and thoughtful, and with so much going on mentally it makes sense that things were a little off. I've been there, and know how wretched it feels, but there is always next time to have things go more smoothly. Hugs.
Makes sense to me that you'd be feeling jealous and nervy about Helen and Eric - I'd have a tough time with that in your shoes too. It'll get easier!
Where you go... there you are.
Me: 35. TD, 43, my monogamous beau. Lily: 31, my lady/lover, in two other relationships. Mahogany: 38, my girlfriend, in one other relationship. Elemental: 44, my ex husband.