My first thought was that asking for an unbiased opinion regarding poly on a poly board was probably not going to work. We're all biased.
I agree with the other posters.
It's a bizarre irony that my stepbrother is going through similar. His wife wanted to open the marriage when SHE was interested in being with other men, but when he found another woman she went bonkers-and now they are divorcing.
As the person who asked to open my marriage (after a whole lotta f'ing up on my part);
I've always felt it's also my responsibility to set the tone of TAKING RESPONSIBILITY TO LIVE UP TO GIVING THAT WHICH I HAVE REQUESTED.
It's not always easy.
Last winter was a nightmare when my husband attempted to start a relationship with a brat. (if you want the long version-there's a thread all about it). His previous girlfriend of 2 years had been no problem-this one was a brat.
HOWEVER-it was still my place to ATTEMPT to work with it. It did reach a conclusion-his concluding that she was a brat and that wasn't going to fly. But-it wasn't my place to tell him I was done with monogamy over all of that.
I think she has some decisions to make and my first concern would be what the hell is she doing galavanting around the world without concern for her parental duties.
I have kids. I am poly. I don't allow my romantic aspirations to be an excuse for neglecting my duties.
THAT INCLUDES working with my spouse (or ex spouse if it came to that) in regards for caring for our children. PERIOD.