Thread: Musings
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Old 02-11-2013, 06:48 AM
InfinitePossibility InfinitePossibility is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 656

I'm working just now on balancing rage. My old love died under unpleasant, traumatic circumstances and I'm not happy about the medical care that he received. So I'm in the process of complaining about what happened to the relevant bodies.

The more I find out about the circumstances around his death, the more upset and angry I get. Now - in a way I want to keep my rage. It helps me to continue with the process.

But - I also need to be careful with it. I find anger freeing and exhilirating. I like arguing and being forceful about getting my point across. I find that sometimes it has become slightly addictive for me.

Not pleasant for others to be around somebody like that. So I have also been searching around for things to do to help keep it in a sensible balance. Also to help me keep connected to the people that I care about. And to C.

I run regularly anyway and that helps lots.

On Friday I went along to a workshop with a local tantra group. Was really interesting. Very calm, gentle environment. We spent a bit of time in pairs, sitting still and looking at each other - the intention was to just be there and look without judgement of the other person or of your own reaction to being looked at. Reminded me a wee bit of some of the work I've done with dogs. I felt quite calm after it so I'll probably go back - the group meets once a month.

There also a yoga group near me who do weekly meditation and group discussion sessions. I'm going to try and join them when I'm free.

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