Originally Posted by ManofDiscovery
The definition doesn't matter...I don't see the value in debating it.
If you're living a lifestyle that causes you constant insecurity and general bad feelings...and it's not just a phase you're working through...then it is not for you.
You can still technically be poly, but why would you want to?
Are you saying that in all of your relationships, poly or mono, you never have bad feelings? By your line of reasoning, then you should not have relationships.
It's not the lifestyle that causes your insecurity and jealousies. Those are yours and yours alone. You would have them with or without the lifestyle. You can't live life by avoiding everything that triggers a negative reaction.
People in mono relationships often have jealousies, even when their partner doesn't have any interest in looking at other people romantically or sexually. Your partner might be offered a lucrative job in another part of the country, and you're jealous that her career means more to her than your relationship. She might have a really sexy friend, and your insecurity might make you worry that she'll break up with you to date him.
Do these jealousies and insecurities mean that you shouldn't date anyone at all?
nyc's not debating the "definition" or poly. She's opposing the notion that to be poly, or "truly poly" (whatever the hell that means), you never have any insecurities or jealousies.