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Old 01-04-2010, 08:48 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by Ravenesque View Post
Outside of wanting many partners and restricting partners to one, are there really differences between these mindsets?
There are differences I think, but one similarity is the fact that their is love there that both parties wish to protect. In any relationship there is a beginning stage where there is a struggle to protect it as much as a relief to find that it is protected. For both parties alike, the path is the same, it's matter of figuring out whether the person that is the object of that love loves you back and that the way that small ember can be protected in order to grow is negotiated.

For mono folk that comes with a set of rules that can be relied upon... that is a difference. Sure those rules can still be made ones own, but they are rules that have been passed on for generations with only slight changes having been made. For poly folk those rules are negotiated far more, but even still there are still some that are becoming more evident the more people realize they are poly.

Originally Posted by Ravenesque View Post
What life values and beliefs do you feel you need to have present and shared in order for your relationships to be successful? And what is your personal definition of a "successful relationship"?
I used to think that my values were complicated. Same as my beliefs, but I think they have simplified the more I go through relationships and the older I get in the ones I have. I don't think that I have compromised my values, but have categorized them more.

Lets see, what are the categories

I value people that are passionate about their values. They can be different than mine, but I admire that.

I value people who are willing to bend and change with time as as they learn. They are more admirable to me when they can see that they are changing and are willing to say that they are not who they used to be but are this way now and that they don't think what they used to think and here is why.

I value humbleness, people who step down from their entitlement and ego and take a look around them at those that are in the back ground from them in some way... even if they don't know how to approach them, just trying to is enough for me... taking the journey to understand those who are not as fortunate. Because I truly believe that it is those that think they are fortunate really aren't.

I value people that make an effort not to hurt the planet and all that is on it. In every way. I realize that some are in different stages of learning how to accomplish this and that it is not always possible, but to be aware of how we effect others and our planet is a huge value of mine.

They kind of all relate somehow, and I find it hard to articulate that, but I cannot be in a relationship where the person stands still.... there is so much to do and so many ways to learn. I value that as a general thing...I think.
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