Thread: new to poly.
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Old 02-08-2013, 08:06 PM
FirstofThree FirstofThree is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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I agree with Marcus on all points. My partner and I stumbled into a triad with a good friend of mine who, upon hearing that we were poly, asked if I was comfortable with her going out with my partner. It wasn't long before the three of us were spending almost all our time together, and found ourselves in a triad.

It wasn't what we were looking for when we opened up our relationship, but it was delightful while it lasted. When it fell apart, though, it was absolutely brutal. My partner and I have been together for almost a decade, but suddenly we were each other's rebound. Very hard.

Since then we have joined OK Cupid and maintain separate profiles and date different people. Sometimes it turns out that we're dating the same people, and so we're entering a triad-like situation now because we happened to each go on a date with the same woman and each of those relationships clicked.

End of the day: look for a person you work with, not for a triad. If you do find someone who is interested in both you and your fiance, don't assume it's going to become a triad. Let the relationships between each of you grow before you add a relationship between all of you.
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