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Old 02-08-2013, 04:55 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Originally Posted by iluvawhooty810 View Post
Is it not right, fair for him to know? U take a person and decide to get to know them, date, with possibility of relationship or really, friendship. Isn't fair and right and apart of being honest and not mis leading know what u were born as? If the person is proud of them selves and who they are and love themselves, why not tell the person before first date? Love yourself and be proud. If u can't...then?

I'm speaking from my own opinion. And so, question to Anna..

U said if it won't hurt u, like std, etc.. is it ok to be married and go behind ur wives back, an line up meeting, talking, getting to know potential future wife, if the guy knows he may leave wife? And not tell the women hes taking on dates?
Why not tell someone you might be dating (a first date is more a trial, a second date indicates a budding relationship to me) about your trans background right away? Well, did you see the stuff I posted above about trust and safety? Any response to that? There's a huge amount of prejudice against trans women, they get killed just for being who they are sometimes, being open about it isn't such an easy decision to make.

Then there's also the fact of maybe wanting to be thought of as more than your chromosomes, your medical past, or for pre/non-op trans women, your genitals. Wanting to be known as a *person* before being known as a status. Isn't *that* fair and right too?

And yeah, of course we should all love ourselves and be proud. But that doesn't mean we're all there yet, or that it's some moral failing to still be struggling to reach that state. So, I would answer your "If u can't... then?" question by saying "...then you're human."

As for your analogy, I just don't see the connection at all. Cheating on your life partner with the intention to rip apart their life by leaving them unexpectedly is not the same as waiting until a second or third date to tell someone sensitive information about your past that might cause them or others to become hateful or violent towards you. You're really going to have to elaborate there.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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