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Old 02-08-2013, 04:10 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

Originally Posted by ManofDiscovery View Post
Of course it's different.

Many men would consider a woman from birth to be completely different to a woman who has gotten there from surgery and hormones.
The fact that many men would consider it different doesn't make it so. HOW is it different? Because of what was set down on the woman's birth certificate? How on earth is that relevant? In both cases the woman in question got to a gender presentation that others would easily recognize as female via hormones and surgery. In both cases she is, in fact, a woman, and always was -- a trans woman is still a woman even if she *never* uses hormones or gets surgery because gender is not about what's on the outside -- and the details of her medical past, or the details of what was on her documentation when she was born, are NOT things that she has some kind of ethical obligation to reveal to anyone before she's ready.

Does something about me have the ability to harm you, like a positive STD status? Then you deserve to know, but I still don't have to tell you on the first date if I'm not planning on sleeping with you. Anything that *doesn't* have the ability to harm you, that's personal knowledge about me, especially very sensitive things that few people may know? No, I don't have to tell you before we even have a first date. What if my trans background is a secret that almost no one knows, and I'm not sure if I can trust you yet? How can you say it's "right" for a woman to have to reveal information about herself to someone she doesn't yet know well, when in many places that information could get her fired, or kicked out of her housing, with no legal recourse?

A woman's right to basic safety and privacy is not trumped by a man's right to make an immediate judgment about whether or not he'd be into her body.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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