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Old 02-08-2013, 01:54 AM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

Originally Posted by nondy2 View Post
My own experience is that I never knew how intensely I would feel about this particular relationship until I had an infant who was solely helpless and I had to raise. Do other people have similar feelings?
Yes. Regardless of how much experience you have working with kids, taking care of kids, or taking care of adults who may be like kids, it is different when it is your OWN child. It just is. My mom understands this. My sister (who does not have kids) does not. It is unfortunately one of those things that, in my experience (as nanny, teacher, and then parent) you just can't fully understand until it happens to you, no matter how much empathy you have. However, it doesn't have to be your biological child. It can be, or a child who is adopted, or step, or part of a poly family. There is a difference between being a parent to that child and being a caretaker. Somehow, though the love and responsibility maybe be equal, it is different.

Interestingly, I read nondy's response to SC a little differently, apparently. I read it as saying that SC's perspective was one that was looking back on parenting experiences in the past, rather than being in the middle of them now. There is definitely a difference between looking back on decisions made when you now know the results, versus being in the middle of making decisions going, "I have no idea if what I'm doing is the right thing!!"
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
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