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Old 02-08-2013, 01:03 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
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Everyone needs positive reinforcement and that DOES often come from hearing/seeing or reading other people's happy stories.

But, Autumn is right, most people who are happy-are busy enjoying their happy lives. Whereas, the people who are online desperately seeking-are the ones who aren't happy.
Thus-you end up with the majority of posts being made by people struggling through some issue or another.

THAT SAID-I wanted to say a few things to you.

1st-I'm enjoying reading your blog. It's funny and sincere at one time and I appreciate that.

2nd-in the midst of what feels terribly like crisis-we are living life and sometimes "crisis" is just a lesson we are learning.

3rd- About happy endings.

I met GG (my boyfriend) 20 years ago this coming April. We have been lovers, friends, sexually intimate, not sexually intimate-the whole spectrum over that time (ok-except exes-we've never been exes).
The piece that remained constant was that we love one another, that we care about and care for each other, that we are committed to being there for each other.
But-in what form? That has changed so many times over the years! None of those changes was a "bad" thing. In each case, it was a matter of life circumstance and our personal needs.
I think our story IS a happy ending. In fact, it's a happy beginning, happy succession of time and a happy ending-though of course with the end of each day, moment, experience, we are already beginning a new one-so we haven't ended really.

If you read through my blog on here, you will mostly read about the ups and downs my husband (Maca) and I have struggled through. You won't see a lot about GG and I-not because it didn't matter-but because it gets so repetitive.
We're happy. We love each other. We wish there were more hours in the day. Sometimes we get mad or hurt or sad or lonely-but we always find our way through the darkness together.

Though the rocky spots have been much more..... wild? with Maca-I could say the same is true for he and I. We met 25 years ago. We started dating 15 years ago and we married in July of 1999. We've been through hell-with GG right in the midst of it all. But, the key word isn't hell, the key word is THROUGH.
You see, we made it through. I imagine there will be more hell to get through before its all said and done. I have no intention of dying yet (though as you noted it could happen that a bus took me out tomorrow).
But we too are a success story. We navigated through an affair, abortion, into polyamory. We're raising children (21, 13 tomorrow, and 5) and enjoying our grandson.

And finally, there is the V which is myself, Maca and GG together as a family with the kids, grandkids and extended family. We too are a success story. We're making progress financially, looking at buying a second home in the next year or two (have to find the one we want). We've cleaned up credit and paid off debt. We've survived several medical crisis with each others support. We've successfully raised and given our daughter in marriage, witnessed the birth of our first grandson, with a second on the way. Tomorrow we will celebrate the 13th birthday of our son. In June we will celebrate the 6th birthday of the daughter we created together (long story written elsewhere).

We've built a family amid the dysfunctional mess our parents raised each of us to be. We've pulled that family through the fires of hell and the ash and debris that were the aftermath of some pretty idiotic choices.
Today-we are living our lives, looking to the future with curiosity and to the past with relief AND more importantly a sense of accomplishment and success.

So, yes, it is a struggle to FIND the success stories. But, they do exist. Don't doubt the existence just because it doesn't appear the minute you type it in a search engine.

And-as for the research-it's in process! Many of us are already researching poly. But it will take time to process enough info for it to be functional statistically.

Keep writing, keep living, keep loving, keep learning.
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