View Single Post
  #136  
Old 02-07-2013, 05:46 PM
Numina Numina is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 139
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
What I have seen, following this blog from the start, is a young girl from a messed up home who doesn't believe she can take care of herself. A much older couple takes her in, with the understanding that they both want sex from her. She takes the opportunity to escape a bad home life, but in truth isn't very comfortable with sex with another woman.
In the beginning it was dating no sex involved, she was the agressor, and instigator of the first sexual encounter. I am actually more of a lets date for a good long while kind of person. I feel I made a mistake within me and my own comfort to have moved so quickly to a physical, sexual relationship (guilt for it? yes). Left to my own devises without the pressure of another persons desire it could have been 6 months or a year before sex. Unrealistic perhaps, but Airyn and I went much longer then that when he and I first started dating, with more sexual tension between us. She chose this as much as anyone. When she realized she wasn't ok with that, she could have talked with me. I was blind and continued trying to date her to find some balance between us. To put Airyn in the middle where she and I could perhaps just enjoy being in each others company and loving (sex) Airyn together. Her reactions left me feeling she had no interest in that, but that she still wanted to be able to kiss me, to act as if she and I were going steady, but not interested in more then necking, kissing. And really that was only of interest to her when she had been drinking. (there is a lot of sadness, disappointment, and anguish in the above from me: it hurts to think someone whats to be with, and then be turned down over and over again. I can be sexually agressive with Airyn I know him well. I was not so with Chipmunk, I was very very timid. Airyn found it humorous compared to he and I.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
Apparently she was dishonest about what she really wanted, in order to get what she felt she needed. I don't condone that at all. At the same time, some of the early descriptions of trying to get her comfortable with you sexually or telling her what you want, I'm sorry to say, felt like 'grooming' behavior.
Erm what? I was grooming her? how. She tells me she doesn't know what I want, tells me she doesn't know what to do with me. I have no Idea how to respond to that. I gave her no directions other then to do what she enjoys, she tells me she doesn't know what she likes. And this is grooming her for what? *confused*

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
Isn't Chipmunk only about 18 or 19 and you and Airyn in your mid-30s? I don't think you'll find many parents of 18/19 year old daughters out there who would like knowing this is their daughter's situation.
22 and 34, and it would not surprise me if most parents would be uncomfortable knowing about the polyamours relationship their children are part of. As a matter of fact the disclosing of poly lifestyles to ones parents has caused all sorts of rifts in parent/child relationships no matter the age of the child(18-55). I have read many threads on these forums documenting the anguish of one person telling their parents about the poly life they lead. It also happens when parents find out that their child is gay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
And it's outrageous that Airyn is monitoring her computer activity with a keylogger without her knowledge. I'm liking Airyn less and less as he clearly disregards how this situation is hurting you. I find myself concerned about the shared bank account both for the damage that could end up being done to your credit and wondering if Chipmunk is in danger by letting her bank account and money be totally accessible to a man who monitors her computer without her knowledge or permission.
Its not actually what you think, although I did use the key logger in conversation with Airyn this way. It is actually a data retrieval tool that he uses when ever Chipmunk contacts him wanting information from her computer. She has shared the majority of her logins with Airyn out of her inability to remember them. I don't knwo if she has shared all most or just a few, i haven't asked. I suggested that she get and keep a book of web address and her logins, I showed her how Airyn and I keep up with them. She chose to share her info with Airyn. I do not know her logins and have no interest in knowing them. I do not know how they keep up with them.

Airyn does not read her email, instant messages or cell phone messages. He uses other tools that in the 70-90 were considered "hacker tools" that are today used and considered tech support tools. Things like key loggers, browsing trackers, and remote acces are used all over the place. Including by employers.

Airyn is actually totally dependent on me to keep the financial things in order, he has no head for the financial side of life. He keeps up with hom much money he has for his spending and that it. He's not looking to take Chipmunk for whatever money she has. It was something he didn't think all the way through. The account will either be closed or his name will be removed once she has moved out. They are shooting for the end of March. The account they were setting up was ment to be a saving for moving out, getting furniture, and making deposits. He was never supposed to be on a checking with her. Other things were not considered, and opening a joint account where she already has an individual account the bank required both names on both account.


Quote:
Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
I'm also concerned, as I read this blog, how is all of this affecting Wolf? . . . And now she's facing her father moving out for half the week.
Wolf is in school from 8am-4pm I go to bed after picking Wolf up from school She see very little of the drama you have read about. She does feel the tension, and stress and will ask whats going on, and I answer her as honestly as I can. She was raised different from me, different from Airyn or Chipmunk. Marrige before sex, sex is dirty, being gay is a sin, NONE of these things were spoken or suggested as normal and ok at home. She asked if the three of us were dating I told her yes. Then she asked if that was normal so we had a discussion on what society considers normal, and what people chose for themselves. She prefers to be different to being normal and is more understanding then I give her credit for.

Airyn talked with her briefly she's excited about having more then one place to call home. She doesn't see it as her father moving out. Airyn would not not see her 2-4 days a week. She will see him every day. Some days he will pick her up from school some days I will, but she will always be able to see her dad. It's something Airyn and I have talked about. I'll not get into the details, but he intends to spend as much time with Wolf after Chipmunk moves out as he does now.


Quote:
Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
This situation is clearly hurting everyone, except maybe Airyn. [/B] I believe that nobody here intends to be harsh or cruel, but is speaking out of concern for you.
What I see is that everyone is struggling, Airyn is effected as much as I am, as much as Chipmunk is. We are all effected we all handle it differently.
__________________
Bi-sexual female

Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).

No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.

Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
Reply With Quote