I'm sorry if you find it harsh, but I think everything everyone is saying is right on target.
I don't see any contradiction at all in NYC's suspicion of Chipmunk's motives at the same time she feels most sorry for her in all of this--for the simple reason that we, as human beings, are not all good or all bad. There are thousands of shades of gray.
What I have seen, following this blog from the start, is a young
girl from a messed up home who doesn't believe she can take care of herself. A much older couple takes her in, with the understanding that they both want sex from her. She takes the opportunity to escape a bad home life, but in truth isn't very comfortable with sex with another woman.
Apparently she was dishonest about what she really wanted, in order to get what she felt she needed. I don't condone that at all. At the same time, some of the early descriptions of trying to get her comfortable with you sexually or telling her what you want, I'm sorry to say, felt like 'grooming' behavior. Isn't Chipmunk only about 18 or 19 and you and Airyn in your mid-30s? I don't think you'll find many parents of 18/19 year old daughters out there who would like knowing this is their daughter's situation.
At the same time, it's insane that Chipmunk is having an issue with Airyn being with his own wife or showing affection to his own wife. It's insane that you're being told to clear out of your own bedroom for hours on end for them when you apparently don't get the same in return. It's insane that you're being expected to revolve your life around Chipmunk's schedules and wants or that you were expected to pick up after her.
And it's outrageous
that Airyn is monitoring her computer activity with a keylogger without her knowledge. I'm liking Airyn less and less as he clearly disregards how this situation is hurting you.
I find myself concerned about the shared bank account both
for the damage that could end up being done to your
credit and wondering if Chipmunk is in danger by letting her bank account and money be totally accessible to a man who monitors her computer without her knowledge or permission.
I'm also concerned, as I read this blog, how is all of this affecting Wolf? I go out with my boyfriend only twice a week, only when my kids' dad is with them, and it affects my kids, but your daughter is living 24/7
with this non-stop drama
of you and Chipmunk being upset with each other, and Chipmunk's moods, and you struggling to maintain the situation, and letters being written among the three of you trying to get everyone to change, and you and Airyn arguing or disappearing for long, long conversations trying to iron this out--all on top of watching her father go in and out of the bedroom with two different women, including one who's of an age to be her big sister, rather than a step mother. Wolf has been subjected to Chipmunk making meals and telling Wolf she's not welcome to eat them!
And now she's facing her father moving out for half the week. I know your daughter is not mine, but I can tell you having your father move does
affect kids. I thought she (my daughter) would be fine, as her dad lives within walking distance and is here 3-4 days a week while I'm at work. Turns out she wasn't, she certainly did notice and was hurt by seeing him less than before he moved out. He's now over here even more, even hanging around making dinner while I'm at home--because his kids need his presence
; because kids need
their parents around. Kids do
notice and are affected when a parent just disappears for half the week. I fear you may be fooling yourself that Wolf sees her father getting a new apartment with another woman as some great opportunity to have two homes to hang out at.
I hope you can see in my post and all the others, that there is also a concern for you. This situation is clearly hurting everyone, except maybe Airyn.
I believe that nobody here intends to be harsh or cruel, but is speaking out of concern for you.