Originally Posted by ManofDiscovery
. . . if you really are truly poly, with no jealousy or insecurities . . .
In what rule book is it stated that only those who do not experience jealousy or insecurity are "truly poly?"
Having those feelings is very human, and if one experiences insecurity and jealousy, that fact simply points to areas in our psyches that need attention or issues in need of some sort of resolution or letting go. This is true, no matter what sort of relationship structure or configuration one employs in their life (mono, poly, whatever).
The only thing that is truly poly is the fact of having, or being open to having, multiple loving relationships. That is it. There is no "One True Way" to be successful in polyamory. It is detrimental to have avoidance of feelings as a goal, or to uphold some sort of robotic, unfeeling, objectivity as an ideal.