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Old 02-06-2013, 11:53 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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It sounds like you have a good chance of forming a vee, with husband as the hinge, and you and girlfriend as the "arms of the vee." Given the amount of friction between you and girlfriend, I think I'd suggest you two try to steer clear of each other, at least for now. Vees have been formed in the past where the "arm persons" were not friends, and it has worked. This one can work too, I think.

Keep your interaction with girlfriend down to a minimum for now. If necessary, you can even ask husband to not talk to you about her. Depends how many unmanageable feelings it conjures up to hear about her.

In a year or five years or whatever, you and girlfriend may find you can rub shoulders a little without too much friction. If so, that's great. But if it never happens, that's okay too. You share a man in common and that's enough. You don't have to be friends, just be cordial enough to say hi to each other in passing.

Now, if a separated vee like that is not the kind of configuration you were hoping for, if you really wanted a triad, then perhaps you would try interacting with girlfriend just in small bits at a time. The two of you might get "better at hanging out together" if you don't do it too much at first. Find out what is the sensible limit that you can handle for right now.

Heh, of course there's always breaking up. But I'm thinking you don't want to try anything that drastic just yet. Just don't push yourself too hard, that's all I'm saying.

Regards,
Kevin T.
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