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Old 01-04-2010, 02:27 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Originally Posted by DrunkenPorcupine View Post

In this specific case, I'm INTIMATE with her, but I'm not sexual. And in my point, I tied the "sex, love and monogamy" thing. In his eyes, intimacy is a stop towards sex and sex is a step towards infidelity. He's made this known indirectly, and said things that make me think that my INTIMACY with her is threatening what he sees as their fidelity. That's why I linked the sex and intimacy thing. I link them one way - sex is always intimate for me. But I don't go the other way, intimacy does NOT imply sex. I think for him (and others that I've had experiences with) he DOES link them.

Now I got it! Totally agree and it ties into my idea of insecurity I think. I have a friend who is fully aware of my relationship but does not want his wife to find out because he is sure she will not be happy with him hanging around with me. I also find some of my monogamous friends threatened by the mere thought of non-monogamy which does imply something amiss in their own relationships. I think this also ties in with why some men are very homophobic...they question their "straightness" so to speak and therefore they are threatened by the presence of gay/bi men. I'm straight but have no issue with bi or gay men (I'm not completely without experiences).

Thanks for clarifying my Friend..take care

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