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Old 02-06-2013, 03:09 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 12,643

"I understand that when you are new and in love you believe the unbelievable but that doesn't excuse what she did does it?!"
It doesn't exactly excuse her, it just provides a context and an explanation should she ever begin to say she's sorry.

"That doesn't rid her of any guilt or saying she was wrong or sorry."
Indeed, she is still responsible for saying she was wrong or sorry.

Don't forget, even if you can't extend trust to her at this time, you can still let go of any ill will you might harbor against her. That's one part of forgiveness. The regaining trust part is more complicated, and requires work on her part.

"I am at a loss of what to do ... if we keep things separate maybe we will grow further apart and more comfortable in our roles as arms of a vee and nothing more?"
Maybe so. And maybe if you get to a comfortable spot in that area, a better chance (e.g. a cleaner slate) will present itself in the future, in which you can try again to be friends. It doesn't always work to try to do everything *right now.*

"I guess he wants to move forward and not keep having these things thrown in his face which I can understand. If I'm going to move forward I guess I do have to let it all go but if only it was that easy to actually do!"
I think he has some responsibilities too that he needs to step up to. He needs to admit he was wrong; he needs to apologize, and show that he can be trusted to tell the truth from now on as well.

Hope some of this helps.
Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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