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Old 02-06-2013, 01:32 PM
Numina Numina is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 139
Default Negativity

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Oh my god. Getting her an apartment? Helping her financially even more than you have already? Convincing her not to break up with him when that was your opportunity to be free of her? Handfasting? That is nuts! How can you be okay with any of that? Kick her out already. She needs to be on her own and to grow up. But she doesn't need her own fucking apartment, she can find a roommate situation and pay for it herself. Jeez, he even has to monitor all her reactions and talk to her about every single emotion she has. She may be immature and unreliable, but -- and I've said this before -- Airyn has serious control issues. How can you possibly tolerate this any longer, Numina? Seriously, I had the hardest time reading all of these latest posts, but your last few -- I am stunned. I worry for you!
Nycindie,
The majority of your post (on my blog, or in the other forums) that I read you a negative, or pessimistic view. Many times vastly different from how I read the same OP's posts, and also very off from how the other participants have responded. I find this odd, and bewildering.

First I am not getting her an apartment. She is getting her own apartment in her own name, with Airyn possibly on as an occupant, just like Wolf is on my lease as an occupant. That you think I am getting her an own apartment tells me you didn't hear me or understand me. (I feel like a broken record I've been tell Airyn this kind of thing for a long while)

I DID NOT talk her into not breaking up with Airyn. Airyn did that and told me about it later. That you think I talked her into not breaking up with Airyn shows me you did not read and understand.

Fandfasting isnít not legally binding, and if you took the time to read my post youíll see I told Airyn to wait 3-6 months after she has had her own apartment. Heís talking next Fall or Spring, and itís JUST TALK. It's a fantasy Chipmunk has had from the beginning.

She can find a roommate if she wants, but she DOES NEED her own fucking apartment, what she doesnít need is to be living with ME.

As far as this being my opportunity to be "free of her" you are very much wrong there. And have again shown a lack of understanding in what you've read. I have told Airyn what I want, and I have acknowledged that I understand what Airyn wants. I have talked with Airyn about find a place for me to be happy within what he wants. We talked about my want being an unreasonable request on him, and that some sort of compromise has to happen. That compromise was FORCED on Airyn by me in what could be viewed as an ultimatum. I told him that he has to decide what he wants. If what he wants is to have Chipmunk as his girlfriend then she has to move out, but if what he wants is for it to be ok for her to live with me then he has to break up with her. He chose to have her as his girl friend. I can not expect him to break up with Chipmunk I know he's in love with her, and I'm not willing to deal with regret, resentment, or the potential for them to continue their relationship in secret.

Airyn does not ďmonitorĒ all Chipmunkís reactions or emotions. He spoke to her about her moody, sadness making things uncomfortable in the house when he is spending the day with ME. Practically every time Airyn and I have time together when she is around she gets moody and depressive. He was telling her to be cool and that it stresses him out when she canít be cool. Itís not a control issue itís Airyn doing what he thinks he can to make life more comfortable. He's attempting to keep Chipmunkís bad moods from ruin our time together, or pulling his attention away from doing something with me to fix what ever is wrong with Chipmunk THIS time.

How can you call it "every single emotion" when Airyn talks with Chipmunk about her being ok at home on a day he is spending with me after reading all these months of her moodiness ruining what could have been a good day for Airyn an I. How many months now have I complained that a shitty mood of Chipmunks has pulled Airyn to her side while he attempts to cheer her up, or calm her down, or what ever.

I come to these forums to read other Poly's stories to learn from other people adventures, and to leave my story behind. If you don't understand, or have a question then ask your question. Please avoid pessimistic assumption I have enough of that within and around me.
__________________
Bi-sexual female

Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).

No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.

Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
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