I've been away for quite awhile. I'll have to read some posts and see how people are doing!
My poly experience is ended now but I am still processing and learning from it. I moved out in April 2012 and my divorce will be final next week.
Sundance is still seeing the "cowgirl" and he continues to lie selectively about his relationship with her. Sometimes that still bugs me, but it's the LYING that bugs me; otherwise it's really none of my business. I'd say we haven't defined ourselves as exes/friends yet, although we're working on it. She and her kids have spent time with Sundance and my sons. I don't know if he'll marry her or what. I do know she still sleeps with a rich man for money, and he goes out with other girls behind her back. They're both kind of creepy I guess!
Butch and I gradually started dating. My kids were extremely accepting of it (except my oldest daughter, who resents the hell out of me for not giving her a "normal" family -- whatever that is -- or a trust fund. But she is nearly 30 years old, and has her own therapy to seek!) One of Butch's kids was extremely, radically pissed off about us dating, and that has tainted things significantly. He blames his dad for breaking up two families. He screamed at him and said he will NEVER accept us together.
Now he hides our relationship from his kids. He's living a double life. It's sneaking around, all over again. It sucks
I honestly thought that once I was free, Butch would fall in love with me. But he hasn't. He's still only interested in "friends with benefits". I am trying to have hope, and be patient with him, and his family.... I just thought it would be different by now. Oh well.