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Old 01-04-2010, 01:39 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742

Originally Posted by DrunkenPorcupine View Post
Mono (on this forum) doesn't call himself a polyamorist but he recognizes that love CAN exist between two or more people without limiting or negating the love that those same people can have with OTHER people..

Originally Posted by DrunkenPorcupine View Post

So Mono doesn't see monogamy as a "default"; it's just not his thing...
Just a slight correction my friend. Monogamy definitely is my thing and although I don't see it as a default for all people, I do see it as a default for most.

Originally Posted by DrunkenPorcupine View Post
To them, sex and love are so tightly tied to the "default" of monogamy that my very presence threatens them, or more so, makes them face their own insecurities.
Sex and love are definitely tied to monogamy for me as well. The difference in perspective between mono and poly is that where one sees insecurities the other does not. I don't see someone wanting sexual exclusivity as an insecurity or weakness. I see insecurities in people who fear the mere thought of their partner having a Friend of the opposite sex, not in them wanting their partner not to have sex with that friend. Monogamy is founded on exclusivity not insecurity. To me it is the core of monogamous commitment although I recognize that this is not the case for non-monogamous relationships such as my own

I also recognize that sex means different things to different people. Where one person can see it as a pinnacle of communication, another can see it as play, no right or wrong, just difference.

Peace and Love

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

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