Thanks for all the replies and feedback. Yes, as of now, I am just an arm of a 'vee'. Sorry if I'm not using the wording correctly it's still so new to me... Last time around we opened the relationship up, sat down and had a discussion the 3 of us and decided on a schedule & what to expect. We mostly divided his time between the two of us, her and I spent some time together but not as much and we also spent time doing things the three of us. It started to go sour so I ended it with her because I felt I needed to focus on my relationship with just him (we were fighting a lot). This time around we decided to become friends, her and I first and work on our relationship before we bring him into it again. We're still encountering problems. We went on a 'first date' with the agreement that we wouldn't discuss him since we were trying to work on just us first. Through most of the date she discussed him...he this, he that...it makes me and made me uncomfortable. We had talked about this last year because in a lot of ways I don't want to hear about him and her. It's hard to share the person you love and I am trying to come to terms with it but I just don't want all the little details. I guess I broke the rules as well because I went to him about all of this when he asked how the date went. I told her as well afterwards how I felt.
In all honesty I think I am trying so hard because I know it is extremely difficult to find someone who wants to be part of this so I feel like she is the only option.