Thanks everyone for the input. I think GalaGirl nailed it with the comments about swinging. That is what our arrangement was in getting into the lifestyle. No strings sex with no emotions involved. We never agreed to a polyamory relationship. Although after reading everything posted, it does seem that my wife has interest in the emotional connection she's getting from certain men. The lying to cover this up is what has made me feel so insecure.
I'd like to clear up the focus on controlling behavior. I am by no means a controlling husband. My wife is free to live her life the way she wants. She can live her life how she wants including what she wears, where she goes, what she does for a living, who her friends are, etc. It has also been her choice if she wanted to swing or not. She has maintained that she wants to live a swing lifestyle, and also states that she does it only because of me. I get conflicting messages constantly. I do believe that she's confused about exactly what she wants.
I just don't want her to have any level of emotional connection with other men. That's it. I want to be her sole source for emotional support. If that makes me controlling by everyones definition on here then so be it.