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Old 02-04-2013, 06:59 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

I responded in your husband's thread, where even in his telling of events he comes off as controlling, so I don't think we're name calling, I think we're looking at the behaviors that are presented as objectively as possible with the limited information we have.

I'm having trouble reconciling what you just posted to what you originally posted, namely this part:

Originally Posted by Hrnycple View Post
He will not listen to me. He remains angry at me and is constantly bringing everything up, rehashing things, questioning my motives and my fidelity to him. I am so frustrated and I cry all the time now. I can't function. I want our marriage to work! But I can't get through to my husband!!! He seems to think that I should be able to **** just any guy, that I shouldnt have to be attracted to them! Also, he used to complain that I never really go into ******* the other guys so I changed and made a real effort and now he thinks I am all obsessed and in love with these guys. WHICH I AM NOT!!! How do I convince him and fix all of this? I feel backed into a corner.

Please someone help me!!!
It isn't uncommon for people to see things different when they're upset than when they're calmer. The question is which one is the more accurate picture? Do you over-dramatize when you're upset? Or do you over-rationalize and justify things when you are calmer, and your true feelings come out when you're upset? I'm not saying one is right or wrong, I'm saying that YOU need to be honest with yourself about what's going on and what you personally can change. You can't change him. You can't change his behaviors nor how he communicates. IF he changes, great, but all you can do is make the best decisions possible for YOURSELF, YOUR health (both mental and physical), and your child.
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
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