One of the things that has come up for DH and I is the difference between how women tend to experience sexuality and how men do. Men tend to see sex as more of an act than women do, and women tend to want (or even sometimes need) more of a connection person-to-person with their partner to have a fulfilling sexual experience. Of course, there are many exceptions on both sides, so I don't mean to put genders into strict boxes, but understanding the difference can help partners communicate.
Perhaps Hrnycple's desire to connect with her partner(s) is interpreted by mrblueeyes as being more meaningful and threatening than it really is. A man might not need this connection in a strictly sexual relationship, and so may find this need hard to understand.
mrblueeyes - think about it this way: you could have a wild sexual relationship with a woman without wanting to leave your wife for her, right? Similarly, your wife may well be able to enjoy an emotional or intellectual relationship with a man without being "in love" with him or wanting to leave you for him.
That said, lying about sexual hygiene practices is a REALLY. BIG. FREAKING. DEAL!
Suggesting individual and couple's counseling in this instance is like suggesting diet and exercise to a person who is trying to lose weight. It's not the sexiest solution, and no one likes to hear it, but it really really is going to be the best way to work things like this out. Really. Seriously.
Last edited by AJ1; 02-04-2013 at 06:45 PM.