Originally Posted by NovemberRain
I'm wondering how that went for you? Was it a good conversation? I take she didn't flee, nor collapse, nor break up...yes?
Somehow, I got the idea in my head that other people were happy (and functional) and that if I could just figure out what they knew, then I could be happy too.
I'm also wondering if something that might be useful to you would be ... crap, I don't know what it's called. The therapy that helps you learn to tolerate anxiety in small bits. desensitization, that's it. It can help you learn to tolerate your own anxiety, and other's anxieties.
I'm encouraged to see you undertaking this journey!
Thank you for checking in with me, that's kind of you. Our conversations went extremely well. There were some tears at first, and concerns, but we stuck with it, and after several long talks, everything is really good. The fact that she is moving into remission really does help, as well.
"If I could just figure out what they knew..."
That does sum it up brilliantly. Perhaps for people with families which never saw communication as a needed or desired life skill, it does seem like arcane knowledge. It's something to aspire to, like speaking Italian, but not something that seems quite realistic for yourself unless a lot of work is done.
I agree with you about therapy. We did enjoy some progress, our first talk was only 15 minutes long. By the end, we were talking for 2-3 hours at a time about things which seemed impossible a couple of weeks ago. The stress level definately dropped with each conversation.