This thread is quite a read...
Reading this thread made me realize I pretty much have a don't ask don't tell guidelines in my relationships. As metamours the two men I am with only know what sort contraception/STD preventing safety is being used, well and I guess that there is physical intimacy. Aside from that, I live with my guy Ave, and if I go out with my long-distance relationship BB he knows when I will be out and when I will be back.
It is so odd to realize I do that because in theory the idea sounds off to me...yet I do it! And it does go both ways. BB has had other relationships but I don't even know the women's names. It just never interested me. As long as the sex is safe I never cared. His other relationships are rare and don't last long (I might be horrible for saying that but it is true). All I hear is when he tells me there is someone new he has dating (but not right away, just eventually).
In contrast to that, I have found before I can even be physical with someone I have to tell them about all the people I have dated (sexual or not) and anything sex related. It's like I'm unloading baggage before really committing to someone, being up front on what my baggage is. I also need to explain a rather sensitive topic about used by my neighbor as a kid for sex. I don't use the other person as a post to vent at, just to explain I need to be treated sensitively sometimes when it comes to physical things. But for some reason I throw in all the other bad failed relationships...I didn't always do that, but I feel a lot better telling all the ugly things together. And since I adopted that stategy of unloading it all if things start to look serious I have been happy with the results. I'm getting off topic now...
Your task is to acknowledge to yourself and others that every part of you has a right to exist.
Last edited by Velvet; 02-04-2013 at 06:18 AM.
Reason: middle paragraph