Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
I agree that 10 or 12 is too young for most people to have sex. But you know what? It's not your body, and it's not your choice. Is it the right choice? Probably not. But that's their mistake to make. You can't teach a kid anything by shielding them from reality. Life comes with difficult choices and is full of mistakes.
Excuse me, but nobody ever said anything about hiding or distorting reality. And though I agree with most of your points, your philosophy of letting a child do whatever they want because you feel that letting them make a decision is more important than the end result is contrary to... well, parenting.
Information and talking is one thing, but especially at certain ages, there are things that are non-negotiable. So yes, you can forbid your child from doing something because that's kind of how it works being a parent - doesn't mean it will work, but it's not a violation of any kind or always unwise. It's hard and it sucks that they won't listen and understand the reasoning, but that's how kids are. We all remember shit that we did a teenagers, or as little kids, because we didn't listen to our parents or thought we knew better. It's the parent who has to guide, and sometimes, yes, they have to be more than a little firm.
Didn't do a chore you were supposed to? Go to your room. Stayed out late past the curfew that was laid down? Forget about going to the school dance. Saw that boy you were forbidden from hanging out with? You're grounded for a week.
None of these things are unreasonable - they are just a part of most people's parenting. Again, every child is different, and you may never have to do this. Hell, you may have to do this and it won't work worth shit. But you gotta make hard decisions because YOU are the one equipped to deal with such things. As nice as your view of leaving it up to the child is, they are not always capable of handling things themselves. That's why the parents are there. Not to say that parents are always right, but when a critical decision for an inexperienced kid is needed, having a parent's input is just as important as the consent of the child.