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Old 02-03-2013, 08:22 PM
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Helo Helo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: California
Posts: 279

Originally Posted by BrigidsDaughter View Post
I agree with you Helo. The one thing I've noticed, working with developmentally disabled adults, is that it isn't the staff discouraging these relationships, but the families. They seem afraid that their children will have children who they will in turn be responsible for, so it comes down to us to educate everyone involved on sex. Especially those who live in group homes where in the past, relationships were not encouraged by staff. It is law here in NY anyways, that our clients have the right to this and we must support it.
That's part of the heartbreak of where I work; we have to discourage virtually all physical contact and while I see the purpose, I think it does a grave disservice to the residents. I would go insane without some form of physical contact, its a basic human need that we essentially try to train them into being uncomfortable with.

I can see the logic behind it; these are people who dont have the most reliable decision making skills and may accidentally do something to someone that violates a boundary without intending to. But I think risking that is far preferable to voiding ALL physical contact.

I can also see the thinking behind families not wanting disabled people to have kids. Most of the people I work with are nowhere near equipped to handle children and their parents are often in their 70's and 80's so raising another child is unlikely to happen. That said, I feel like there are better choices than forcing a kind of asexuality on them. We had a resident whose family convinced them to get a vasectomy out of a desire not to have kids. He went along with the idea but I feel serious misgivings about it because it was likely not entirely his choice.
I am as direct as a T-Rex with 'roid rage and about as subtle. It isn't intended to cause upset, I just prefer to talk plain. There are plenty of other people here who do the nice, polite thing much better than I can. I'm what you'd call a "problem dinner guest."
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