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Old 02-03-2013, 04:09 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,479

Originally Posted by FindingMyselfInTheGrey View Post
I understand that there is a difference between a desired and a realistic relationship. I am hopeful that we could find someone that we can both have a relationship with. I desire a deep friendship with my metamour, but in reality I understand that this may not happen and that I may need to be satisfied with a neutral, polite relationship. At a bare minimum I want to have open, respectful communication with her.
Well, OK. I just think... well, you can find a nice friend anywhere. Isnt the main thing to meet your h's needs for more sex? As another horny person, I can relate to him, you see. Hopefully he will meet someone you like, but she may not be available to you as a friend , either emotionally or because of time and distance restraints. She may not want a "cuddle buddy."

We have a desire to share a life, a home, and a long-term relationship with someone we both like in some way.
A home? That is really putting the cart before the horse. Let your h have some cuddles, laughs and romance leading to sex. Finding a single woman who wants to move in with a couple smacks of unicorn hunting.

I hadn’t meant him to sound like an ‘oversexed beast’ because that’s not how I feel about him at all. I just used the term as a way to describe his needs…not who he is. He is an amazing man. Full of courage, honor, creativity, strength, life and love, he is more than his desire for frequent sex. If it was all about sex for him, I wouldn’t have any desire to be in any sort of relationship with him.
Heh, I'm sure he's a great guy with the patience of Job. I wonder... this term hypersexual, does that come from the asexual community? Or does anything more than 3 or 4 times a week count as hyper? Anyone can answer this, I am just curious.

While were divorced he had been seeing a woman and is currently communicating with her his change in marital status, and our agreement for an open relationship (and that I am ok with Hubbs and her being together). Neither of them is looking for anything long-term at this time and need to keep their relationship on the DL due to their jobs. So there are minimal chances of any long term relationship between the two of them. As soon as his current contract is up, he will be leaving his job and moving here, at which time they will be going their different directions.
At the same time Hubbs has given me the ok to have a non-sexual cuddle-buddy.
OK, so we don't know yet if his current gf is willing to keep seeing him even though he's now married again but living separately?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixi (poly, F, 40) together since 2009
My bf Kahlo (poly-friendly, M, 45) since August 2017
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's bf for 5 years
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