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Old 02-03-2013, 07:50 AM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 651
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I am so sorry, ... Don't know what else to say.
That's all there is, indeed Miss Indie. I don't know what else I could do or say to make it better. Thanks to all of you, your worries and all the virtual hugs are appreciated. I know that no one can do anything to make this less ... certain/unfair/painful/hard on us.

I have no idea if I would go through this hormonal treatment to have a child twice or if I would go through it at all. I guess I have an idea about the adoption option. We will never be able to adopt a child, as long as Lin lives with us (visibly). And there aren't 'enough' children in contrast to couples wanting to adopt one. At least as far as I heard. It's hard to be chosen.

I guess that all this needs some months to sink in. Right now, I get a strong sense of 'not meant to be' even though I don't have a thing for fate in general.

And thanks for the offer Jane, but I don't know what I should vent about. It is what it is, maybe I will be furious later on, but right now, I just feel numb.

Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
Tend to each other, take care of each other, love each other...
That's basically what we are trying to do right now. Sward has gotten really quiet and I guess he is a bit ashamed that he had thought about the situation (Lin possibly being more 'capable' than him) as 'unfair'. Or me trying first with Lin because of the circumstances. He is doing what he can to lighten up the mood. Started baking some buns (raisins and chocolate), surprised Lin and me with Dinner and is always the first to fetch us some things. And cuddles us all day as soon as we come into his reach. (Not that this changed in the least, he always did that, but now it lasts longer and his hug is a bit suffocating This guy is just too strong.)

Lin isn't thinking at all, it seems. He is waiting for the second test and postpones his reaction a bit. What scares me even more. I felt his heart twisting already when we talked about it. If this happens again, on a greater scale with certainty mixed to it don't know how to prevent this. To be fair, there IS a possibility to have children. Maybe. We will know in four weeks. But that's connected to an operation and so much medical stuff, I don't think that we will be able to use it or to be able to pay for it. I went through my disbelieve already. When the shock comes for Lin, I won't be as burdened as I would have been with us experiencing this together. That's somehow something positive.

Originally Posted by BaggagePatrol View Post
this is not what you had imagined.
Indeed, so true.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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