Originally Posted by saintvlas22
I think that what is most important is taking into account your own child. Obviously, as a parent, you should impart your own experience to your kid, but remember that your example worked for YOU, and won't necessarily work for your child. If they are mature, responsible, fully aware of the consequences, and ready - then have at it. Obviously, you don't want the explicit details, but there doesn't seem any harm.
What it comes down to is this: Unless you chain your child to his bed, you have no way to guarantee he will listen to your advice about sex. You can do your best to impart your opinions and values on him, but at the end of the day, the decision is his.
So you have a choice to make: do you "forbid" it, and then if it turns out he's having sex anyway, he won't tell you? And if he gets a girl pregnant, he'll struggle with it on his own, with no support from his family? Never mind that he'll be more likely to get
a girl pregnant if he doesn't have a reliable source of condoms. If he can't keep them in his bedside table because he's afraid you'll find them, he may just have sex without them if the opportunity arises.
Or do you tell him that you'd prefer he wait, but acknowledge that the final decision is his alone to make? That if he does decide to have it, that you'd prefer he tell you so you can guide and support him through it?
I agree that 10 or 12 is too young for most people to have sex. But you know what? It's not your body, and it's not your choice. Is it the right choice? Probably not. But that's their mistake to make. You can't teach a kid anything by shielding them from reality. Life comes with difficult choices and is full of mistakes.
My best friend's parents forbade her from having sex. Do you think that stopped her? No. And guess which one of us accidentally got pregnant at 16? And how much fun do you think it was for her to deal with the miscarriage when she wasn't even allowed to tell her dad that she'd had sex in the first place, never mind gotten pregnant and later miscarried?
The best way to keep your kids safe is to give them information, and then let them make their own choices. Support their choices and be there to support them when they fuck up.