Hi back at you from the same area. Although on account of the navy base, I usually just tell people I'm from "around Norfolk". They seem to understand that better.
I take it from your husband using the term "Catholic guilt" you either remain or once were Catholic? I do believe in the existence of that guilty mindset. I was raised Catholic and even though I've been a convinced atheist for a decade the mindset that one prayer every mass teaches you, "I have sinned through my own fault in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do," has stuck with me. So even though my idea of what is and isn't a sin isn't based in Church teachings and I don't believe in Jesus Christ or any sort of god, I do still have a belief that I'm ungood and I need to judge myself. And my point in all this is that I do believe it's possible to have been trained to judge and criticize yourself regardless of whether you would consider the "fault" or "flaw" in question to be a bad thing in the abstract or applied to someone else.
And you may want to do some thinking about the specific reason you feel you're "not fulfilling [your] wifely duties". Ask yourself what exactly do you think those duties are and why do you think those are your duties? Do they make sense and still seem valid after you do that? I believe duty's a wonderful concept, but the devil's in the details.