Thread: Need advice
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Old 02-02-2013, 09:21 PM
mrblueeyesxxx mrblueeyesxxx is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 4
Default Need advice

My wife and I have hit a roadblock in our swinging lifestyle and I'm not sure what to do. We had both been in previous marriages that did not work and we both felt like we were not able to truely be ourselves. When we met and started dating we both decided to share our turn ons and be honest from the beginning. We learned that I was a bit of a voyer and she like to be watched. We didn't act on our fantasies initially and agreed to wait until we were married and had a solid foundation first. After a few years I suggested swinging where she would have sex with other guys and I'd watch. She was reluctant initially but we soon jumped in and had some fun.

After about a year, and a handful of encounters my wife expressed a desire to have a baby. I was reluctant because I had 3 children from my previous marriage and I was enjoying our lifestyle and was concerned that it would end once we had a child. My wife reassured me that this was something that we both were into and she wanted to continue to live the lifestyle. I felt reassured and agreed that I'd like to try for a baby. We had a wonderful child and that's where our focus was as proud new parents. Some time passed and I suggested getting back into the lifestyle. My wife expressed that she was feeling a little self conscience and was not ready. I wass disappointed but understood. As the years went past, the subject would come up with the same result where we decided to wait. After 6 years of periodic discussion, she finally agreed to give it a shot again.

We began looking and didn't have any luck finding a suitable partner for her. I suggested that she look for a black man as that had been a fantasy of mine to see her with a black guy. She reluctantly agreed but then soon found that she was very attracted to them. We found a guy that she liked his look and met up with him. It was a hot experience and it seemed to light a fire in her. It was not a complete success as he had some issues keeping it up but other than that was fun. She continued to text with him after that and it was fun seeing her excited. They seemed to have a connection and contuinued to text each other daily. He's get her to take pictures of herself at work and send to him. I suggested she find another partner and she met one other person that first few months. Then all she wanted to do was text and chat with the original guy. She would act like she was looking for other partners but remained focused on the original guy. They wanted to meet again and I agreed because there were no other prospects. They met alone a few times after that with the thought that the guy was nervous with me there and they were so attracted to each other that they would really connect. The third time they met, my wife did not come home that night. She said it was late, had been drinking and was going to stay the night in the hotel room. She assured me that he had left. When she came home in the morning, I found that my wife lied about the encounter. She lied and said they used protection and then she confessed that they didn't. She had deleted all of her texts with him. I pressed about if he really left that night and she maintained that he did. I remain suspicious because when I talked to her that night she said he already left. She was very short with me on the phone, talked in very general terms, said she was tired and was going to bed.

We cut it off with him after that. She said she'd find someone else as we liked the lifestyle. Again, she could not find anyone and we stayed on hold. His name kept coming back up and eventually she would resume her texting, chatting and meet ups with him until I eventually voiced my concern and she stopped.

Towards the end of this episode, she met another guy whom she began hooking up with. I was never present for any of there encounters. She met him fairly regular as he lived fairly close to us. I later discovered that she had been googling him, looking for pictures online of him, and reading anything she could online about him. I discovered this and cut off that relationship.

So here we are. I went into this with the thought that this was going to be simple hookups where we could feed off the energy of these encounters and enhance our own sexual experience. In my opinion she became obssesed with 2 men in particular that gave her a lot of attention. Maybe I was naive to think this could be uncomplicated and move on from experience to experience.

I'm interested in hearing your opinions. Am I just paranoid and jealous which is what she thinks?
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