I just went back and read GreenEarthAl's original post and I have to say that it resonated with me.
I have been in relationships where I felt like the other was dependent on me in some way and it made me very uncomfortable. I don't want to have people around me who need me, I want partners.
Like you, if I am in a situation where someone is dependent on me for something, we discuss it, and work together on making it so that it's no longer a part of the relationship - it helps them grow as a person.
I like strong people - not the brash, loud-mouthed, or strongly-opinionated people that are regularly telling you what you should or shouldn't be thinking on a subject, but the quiet self-confidence, self-knowledge and inner strength to be at ease with themselves and wanting to join me on this part of my life's journey. That is attractive to me, those are the people I like to have as friends, lovers and committed partners.
I sometimes struggle with the validation thing - but that is an on-going process with me. I care too much and spend too much time thinking about what others think of me - I need to develop more of a courage of my own convictions and if people don't like it, well, that is their issue, not mine (I just found that really hard to write and had to re-read it several times - my instinct was to delete it). But I do still rely on a very few people that I trust to be a sort of mirror that I can look in to hopefully avoid the case where I can't see something that is blindingly obvious to them. These are people that I trust not to have an agenda of their own when giving me this opinion.
This "Life" thing is an interesting journey....
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb