I've never been fond of the term "poly community" but I know what you mean by it. To me, we're just a bunch of individuals that happen to have this thing in common. We're no more a community than are all the people in the world who play chess.
The reason I make a stink about this is that when you use words like "community," people start to have expectations. They start to desire inclusion in this "community" and start to feel excluded from something if they aren't welcomed with open arms. I'm just one person over here doing my thing. I'm not going to welcome anyone to do my thing because I really don't care what other people do with their romantic lives. I don't want people to feel rejected by my indifference.
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."