@BoringGuy If growing a spine were really that simple, then I think no one would ever be trapped in an abusive situation. I should have put more detail in about how failing my mental health is at this point in my life and for that I am sorry. However, it helped that you said it, because this has made me think that I may need some emergency care if I am so off-balance for what seems to others to be a relatively simple situation, so I will be looking into it.
@LovingRadiance I will try. I'm looking into therapy and emergency psychological care because it's become clear that there's something deeply wrong with me. However it helps to see that I'm not the only one who feels like J's behavior is unjustified.
@nycindie Thank you for the sentence about J not being the same as my abusive family. It has been very hard for me to mentally separate the two and having some new adjectives to describe the situation helps. I'm going to copy down what you said to tell her and memorize it. And my instinct would be to run from the room, so I will try to stay in it when the conversation happens.