Hi, FindingMyself, and welcome.
Surely you and your h are not 17,000 miles apart but merely 1700? The US is only 3000 miles across.
I am really happy you've finally discovered your asexual nature after so many years of feeling different, and so many years of your h feeling frustrated.
My sister is basically asexual... she has been married about 30 years and some time ago made an agreement to have sex with her h twice a week (like clockwork on Friday and Saturday nights). In exchange, he takes her out to dinner once a week. She doesn't orgasm and I guess it's just a wham bam thank you ma'am, and he's OK with that. Sounds kind of horrible to me, but I am not them.
Anyway, I am on the other side of the spectrum. Maybe I am "hypersexual"... I like sex a lot!
My gf is interested in having sex kind of sporadically. Some weeks she will want it 3 days in a row, other weeks she is fine to not have any sex at all. If we were monogamous, I would be quite frustrated on her off weeks. Luckily we are happily polyamorous and I've been seeing and fucking others ever since she and I hooked up 4 years ago. For the last year or so I have been just seeing one guy, and he is a sexy dog like me. Our sex even inspires my gf sometimes.
I hope for a similar happy solution for you!
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw
me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37