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Old 01-31-2013, 07:55 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
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Quote:
Originally Posted by evelinkfalls View Post

Questions- Will those feelings that I had for her go away?
How do I make them?
Will the hurt that I feel from her betrayl go away? Will I ever be able to trust her? I know they say to forgive and forget but I am finding this difficult. Or is it really just cut and dry and I should just walk away from her.
I hate being a noob and having feelings
I don't think anybody was irritated at all, just stating the obvious - it's not a good idea to keep hanging around with somebody who treated you like that, and we are confirming what your other friends and family said, that from here it doesn't look like sensible move.

The feelings you had for her are more likely to go away more quickly if you distance yourself from her for awhile, lots of people have 3 month no contact rules for exes before trying to be friends. If you really want to try to maintain a friendship, I'd do it out socially, draw clear boundaries, and don't invite her back to your place unless you want to move it back to dating.

Nobody says forgive and forget everything... you can forgive, because it's good for you, but forgetting that somebody is willing to give you STI's or break agreements isn't going to serve you that well. It seems you didn't actually sit down and talk all this through with her. If you are doubting if she really did these things, it means you didn't address it with her? There's no way to know if you can trust somebody if you don't even lay it all out on the line when there's a problem and sit down to talk about it openly.

For me it would be cut and dried, I'm not willing to have dramatic relationships or be lied to, or risk passing STI's onto my other partners because of somebodies deal breaking. There are lots of other amazing people out there to date.
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