I know my questioning probably irritates some of you who have been doing this for awhile. I have not this was my first relationship like this and my first with a woman and I am finding it hard to be in the friend zone when I still find myself attracted to her.
Gala thank you for breaking things down like you did it does help to see.
We have told her we are not interested in a relationship like that. But we did say we missed her and were confused by how things should be now. We also told her about a girl who is interested in us and we would like to get to know better, not in a sexual way. Is it ok to say this? she wanted to know who she was and why she was hanging around me.
The first time she stayed over she was going to stay on the couch and yes it was my fault for any confusion because I did invite her into our bed.However this was because we had all been drinking she more than we and we also had another person over who creeped her out who was staying on the other couch. The second time she came over I and hubby had no idea she was staying the night. She just stayed. I know I could have should have said you got the couch but she just went in and jumped in bed. I know I should have asked her to hit the couch, but it seemed rude somehow. As far as the rumors and things which have been being said, she denies these things she does say she told the thrid party things and regrets doing so but I honestly don't get why someone whom I don't know and who was and is her friend would say the wild and vicious things she said without them being said to her or at least some of it being said to her.
The reason I ask advice is because I really did value the friendship we had and I am so confused by the feelings I have been having. Part of me loves her as my friend, part of me is attracted to her and part of me wants to hate her. I feel guilty that I still have feelings for this woman, I feel guilty that I don't trust her intentions. I also question if I even if I should.
I know if the situation were with a family member I would tell them to stay the hell away from her. And our family members have told us this but we don't know if this is because they see what kind of person she is or if they are upset with what our relationship was with her.
There is this part of me who wants to believe this third party made everything up and my friend would have never done that or anything to hurt me. I feel dumb for feeling this way but I do.
Questions- Will those feelings that I had for her go away?
How do I make them?
Will the hurt that I feel from her betrayl go away? Will I ever be able to trust her? I know they say to forgive and forget but I am finding this difficult. Or is it really just cut and dry and I should just walk away from her.
I hate being a noob and having feelings