My husband simply just doesn't want to know. He has always had issues with sex and sexuality, I don't see why I should fit the cookie cutter recipe of other relationships when we simply aren't the same.
Our situation is different. My husband was date raped and he just never really likes to talk about sex or people hooking up. He doesn't like me to touch him in his private part and hates it when I say something overtly sexual. It bothers him.
I don't see a need to talk to him and let him know what I am doing, it will just make things worse.
I love him in spite of all this. Yes, it probably is not healthy, but it is what we have and what I have to work with.